What a relief

My back is doing better, all of a sudden. I attribute this change in condition to the massage I got a little over a week ago. I can't believe it took such a little thing to make such a big difference, because I've spent so much money on so many BIG things that were all supposed to help. And the massage wasn't even my doctor's idea - it was mine. I got my first massage about six weeks ago, and I got a little relief for about two days. Nothing to write home about though; it was just another remedy that didn't help very much. Last week I was so tired of the pain that I was willing to spend the $100 even if all I got was another two days' of relief. But so far, it's been over a week already and the pain hasn't come back. Wow!

I still have considerable discomfort, but nothing like the pain I used to have. THIS is when I feel like I should be returning to work. The only reason I came off of Disability at the first of the year is because my job was at risk. I shouldn't have been working though - when you need narcotic pain relief just to function like a human, you shouldn't ALSO have to be chained to a desk 40+ hours a week. But now, finally, I feel like I can perform my job without numbing my body to do it. Here's hoping that it lasts.

A government strong enough

I read quote today that reminded me of Joellyn's recent discussion of government. Here is the quote: A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have (attributed to Thomas Jefferson). I only put my trust in a perfect government that has a pure motive and also has the power to exercise true wisdom and justice. There is no human government that can hope to earn my trust, and that's why I look to a heavenly kingdom that will rule over the earth.

Duncan is home from the hospital

Great relief -- my dog Duncan has been released from the hospital.
The swelling on his brain has subsided, and now the concern is the
less-critical stuff. Like the healing that has to happen with the
stitches and the bruising on his face... watching out for infections
and the like. Totally manageable stuff. He's on pain medications
that make him very sleepy all the time, and antibiotics that make his
stomach upset. But he's eating well, so that helps prevent a lot of
the stomach irritation.

I'm so glad he made it. WHEW!

Duncan Had A Very Very Bad Day

Yesterday afternoon Duncan was hit by a car, a little before 4 PM. The side of his head took most of the impact. We rushed him to the hospital where they worked to stop the brain from swelling further. The x-rays showed nothing broken (!) and no internal bleeding probably because his body wasn't hit - just his head really. This morning it appears that the swelling has stopped, but his one pupil is still dilated indicating he's not out of the woods yet. They have decided he's stable enough to endure the anesthesia he needs for stitching up his lip laceration. He urinated today, which is a good sign that his internal organs aren't failing.

It is so awful to feel responsible for this. And I wasn't even there - my mom feels more directly responsible although I've assured her that I don't feel that way towards her. My heart hurts for my dear doggie. I can't believe he's survived it, but I also can't believe that he still might not make it. The vet won't make any promises. I understand why, but I still wish he would. Could.

Why haven't we bought a fence - didn't we say the same thing last time something like this happened?? More updates to come...

Weekend Update

What a weekend, oh my. After being on disability for four months, I
almost forgot what a whirlwind the weekends can be. I've been back at
work for two weeks now, and I can see that I am going to make a
concerted effort to schedule some relaxation into my Saturdays and
Sundays.

It all started on the Wednesday before the weekend, when I got my
second epidural steroid injection. It's a series of three injections,
spaced at one-month intervals. The first injection was a breeze,
relatively. The doctors told me that the injection itself would cause
increased pain for a couple of days but after that I should expect to
see some relief. It hurt a little bit, sure, but no more than any
other injection. It was like a flu shot, where the injection site is
tender for a little while but goes away within a few days. THIS time,
however, it's a whole different kind of pain. This is miserable. At
work I have doubled my dose of painkillers just to get through the
day. At the Kingdom Hall I can't sit in the chairs so I'm bringing
blankets and pillows so I can lay on the basement floor.

I went out with a group on Saturday to do some preaching. Because of
the brutally cold weather and the lack of sidewalks in the area, we
agreed to drive the car from house to house instead of walking. I
learned that this type of preaching is very hard on my back! I
climbed in and out of the car every five minutes for an hour. Despite
painkillers and plenty of rest afterward, I was a ball of jelly for
the rest of the day.

On Sunday I wanted to skip the meeting at the Kingdom Hall and just
use the telephone tie-in to hear the talk. I meditated on Proverbs
22:6 about rich blessings that we don't have to "pay for" in pain and
suffering. Yes, this principle cleared my conscience so that I had no
problem with my decision. Then suddenly I remembered that my friend
Kim had agreed to help with some shopping, but in order to get her
help I would have to go to the meeting first and we would be leaving
together. So I changed my mind and then felt a little guilty that a
shopping trip was "worth" the pain, but the rich blessings were not
enough on their own. I resolved this guilt by lying on the Hall's
basement floor again, receiving all the fine association and spiritual
food, and still preserving my strength for the shopping trip.

That was a long day. We had lunch and also bought furniture, window
treatments, rugs, lighting, and other decorating supplies for my
living room. Since I spent very little time sitting down, my back
didn't really hurt much until late in the afternoon. I came home and
ate dinner and watched football (stupid Ravens! stupid Eagles!) and
suddenly the weekend was over. I'm longing for the days past when
every day was a weekend.