Duncan Had A Very Very Bad Day

Yesterday afternoon Duncan was hit by a car, a little before 4 PM. The side of his head took most of the impact. We rushed him to the hospital where they worked to stop the brain from swelling further. The x-rays showed nothing broken (!) and no internal bleeding probably because his body wasn't hit - just his head really. This morning it appears that the swelling has stopped, but his one pupil is still dilated indicating he's not out of the woods yet. They have decided he's stable enough to endure the anesthesia he needs for stitching up his lip laceration. He urinated today, which is a good sign that his internal organs aren't failing.

It is so awful to feel responsible for this. And I wasn't even there - my mom feels more directly responsible although I've assured her that I don't feel that way towards her. My heart hurts for my dear doggie. I can't believe he's survived it, but I also can't believe that he still might not make it. The vet won't make any promises. I understand why, but I still wish he would. Could.

Why haven't we bought a fence - didn't we say the same thing last time something like this happened?? More updates to come...

Weekend Update

What a weekend, oh my. After being on disability for four months, I
almost forgot what a whirlwind the weekends can be. I've been back at
work for two weeks now, and I can see that I am going to make a
concerted effort to schedule some relaxation into my Saturdays and
Sundays.

It all started on the Wednesday before the weekend, when I got my
second epidural steroid injection. It's a series of three injections,
spaced at one-month intervals. The first injection was a breeze,
relatively. The doctors told me that the injection itself would cause
increased pain for a couple of days but after that I should expect to
see some relief. It hurt a little bit, sure, but no more than any
other injection. It was like a flu shot, where the injection site is
tender for a little while but goes away within a few days. THIS time,
however, it's a whole different kind of pain. This is miserable. At
work I have doubled my dose of painkillers just to get through the
day. At the Kingdom Hall I can't sit in the chairs so I'm bringing
blankets and pillows so I can lay on the basement floor.

I went out with a group on Saturday to do some preaching. Because of
the brutally cold weather and the lack of sidewalks in the area, we
agreed to drive the car from house to house instead of walking. I
learned that this type of preaching is very hard on my back! I
climbed in and out of the car every five minutes for an hour. Despite
painkillers and plenty of rest afterward, I was a ball of jelly for
the rest of the day.

On Sunday I wanted to skip the meeting at the Kingdom Hall and just
use the telephone tie-in to hear the talk. I meditated on Proverbs
22:6 about rich blessings that we don't have to "pay for" in pain and
suffering. Yes, this principle cleared my conscience so that I had no
problem with my decision. Then suddenly I remembered that my friend
Kim had agreed to help with some shopping, but in order to get her
help I would have to go to the meeting first and we would be leaving
together. So I changed my mind and then felt a little guilty that a
shopping trip was "worth" the pain, but the rich blessings were not
enough on their own. I resolved this guilt by lying on the Hall's
basement floor again, receiving all the fine association and spiritual
food, and still preserving my strength for the shopping trip.

That was a long day. We had lunch and also bought furniture, window
treatments, rugs, lighting, and other decorating supplies for my
living room. Since I spent very little time sitting down, my back
didn't really hurt much until late in the afternoon. I came home and
ate dinner and watched football (stupid Ravens! stupid Eagles!) and
suddenly the weekend was over. I'm longing for the days past when
every day was a weekend.

And the pain goes on

My doctors are still looking for the problem that explains all the back pain I'm experiencing.  They've ruled out a lot of possibilities so far.  So we know a lot about what it's not.  I've tried tons of physical therapy, and chiropractic adjustments, and steroid injections, and massage therapy, and analgesic patches, and narcotics, and anti-inflammatories, and and and.... ugh.

I've also had two X-rays, three MRI's, and a CT scan.  All the imaging studies show normal bones and normal vertebral discs.  Only recently did one of the scans show a small spot on a nearby muscle - but thankfully not on the complicated spots like on the spinal cord or other nerve.  It's kind of like having a freckle or a mole on your skin... it's an abnormality, but it's not worrisome.  You examine it for the presence of this and that characteristic to see whether it's something worth worrying about.  When those characteristics aren't present, then it's considered just a variation on normal.

In my case though, since this abnormality is accompanied by so much pain, it's definitely worth investigating.  Ideally we hope it can be excised or drained with a simple procedure and all my pain will be gone.  Wouldn't that be great!  Really I don't know whether to place my hope in this treatment.  Over the last several months I've heard about a lot of possibilities from my doctors; we won't know for a while if this is just one more thing to rule out.

I have returned to work.  My back is only a little bit better than it's been for the past month or two, but I had to go back to work or I was risking the loss of my job.  The atmosphere at my company is extremely unstable: they just began a series of layoffs a couple of days ago, with further major restructuring to come down the pike.  Fun times.

My lower back is what started all of this back in August.  It was from that improper lifting that I wrote about previously, as you might remember.  Thankfully that part of my back feels perfectly healthy.  It got better after four or five weeks of physical therapy, and that's why I tried to return to work back in September.  When I think back on it, I now realize that it was my upper back that was hurting so badly at that time.  It's just that the pain was so extensive that it was impossible to isolate.

My day at work is not easy.  I am using a different chair that gives my back more support, and I spend as little time in it as I can.  I look for opportunities to get up and walk to others' offices instead of calling them.  Even so I need to take a painkiller by 11AM, and that relief lasts until about 3PM.  At that point in the afternoon, I grit my teeth and try to forget about the pain until I can get home and lie down.  I don't want to take a second dose of painkillers just to get past those last two hours because once I get home, I can have a normal evening with my family after I spend an hour or so lying down on the hard floor.

I do still have additional doctors I want to see, and a few more treatments to try.  I am not yet willing to accept this as a lifetime condition!

A few things I learned today

The etymology of "electrophoresis" is related to the etymology of "metaphor". Both contain the Greek root "pherein," meaning "to carry or bear." In science, electrophoresis is a technique where molecules are moved (where -phor = carried, borne) through a fluid by applying electric ("electro-")current. In literature, a metaphor is a short hand way of invoking the meaning of a simple thing to better understand a complex thing. For example if someone says, "life is a river" they don't mean that literally, but they are using a metaphor to "carry over" the meaning of what a river means to what life means. I never would have guessed! I really enjoy learning about words.

Insects have immune systems. http://www.sci.muni.cz/ksfz/imuno_hmyz_e.html
Insects also can heal some of their wounds and burns.
http://jeb.biologists.org/cgi/content/abstract/14/3/364

It's best to notarize your Advance Medical Directive even if your home state does not require it. This is because you could become incapacitated while traveling in another state with different laws, and you want your wishes to be enforceable no matter where you are.

My public radio station offers a nifty gizmo called a Radio Bookmark, which is a small, portable device that makes it simple to follow-up on the stories you don't want to forget. It "bookmarks" radio stories with the touch of a button. Later you plug it into your computer’s USB port and all your bookmarked stories appear. I have never heard of such a thing until today!

I am not the only one who wants to switch to Google Chrome, but can't do so until the Roboform application is made compatible.

Despite the debacles in recent years, election laws all over the country are still full of holes. I can't wait till next week when this moot court decision is announced: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=95924817

Several studies have proven that memories can be biased by the questions asked at the time of the memory's retrieval. Those studies are fascinating to read. The effect is so powerful that it occurs even when the subject knows that the interrogator is trying to trick them!

Those are just the things I remembered learning today. Surely there's lots of other information that got into my mind without me being aware of its entry. How awe-inspiring to have a thing so wonderful as a brain!

Update on my back injury

It has been about a month since I first hurt my back. Last week I thought I could return to work. Boy was I wrong. I worked half-days in the office, then returned home to work in the afternoons. I was not very productive, and I managed to undo much of the progress I had made in physical therapy (PT).

Lots of friends and colleagues thought I was nuts for trying to go back to work. Here's why I wanted to try: My goal is to be able to return to work full time. That's where my road to recovery is supposed to end. When I began down the road, I made gradual progress at home until I was finally able to move around and to sit awhile without pain. It seemed like I had made all the progress I was going to make on this part of the road. The next step towards that ultimate goal would be to head back to work, and gradually make progress on that new part of the road. It turns out that I was simply not ready. My first day back was not too bad. The next day was harder. By the 4th day I wished I could stay home. The last day I called my doctor and told him I couldn't do this anymore. I had expected to find each day a little easier than the one before, but when that didn't happen I knew it was a mistake.

So now I've returned to disability and my full time job is to get better. I have PT three times a week, and until I went back to work it had delivered vast improvements for me. If I continue making progress like that, I shouldn't need any aggressive treatments. No injections, no surgeries... that's what I'm hoping for. I'll always have to be careful with my spine to avoid re-injuring it, but I really hope this will be an acute injury that won't become a chronic pain issue.

In addition, my company has agreed to buy whatever office chair my therapist recommends. Our standard office chairs are perfectly comfortable for healthy people, but not for injuries like mine. My mom suggested a great comeback for the smart remarks that are sure to come from coworkers who are sure to envy my new groovy chair: "I'd gladly trade you my chair for your healthy spine." So there. Remind them that this is not a luxury item -- and that it's not what I would have chosen. I'm totally planning to use that line.

Right now, without causing pain, I can do light housework, or sit with regular posture for about a half an hour, or sit in a recliner for about 3 hours (in 45-minute chunks), or stand for about an hour. If I do more than that, I become very uncomfortable and I have to lie down and rest for several hours. If I'm somewhere that I can not lie down, like when I was at work or if I'm driving, I have to take a painkiller to sustain me until I CAN lie down. Most days I don't need painkillers. Which is good for many reasons, one of which is that alcoholic beverages are contraindicated. Heh.